“It’s Complicated”

Response to topic #56: What keeps you up at night?

Tonight, I thought about the consequences of our actions.

I used to not understand why there could be two sides of a story. The real situation is just right there, why are there so many variations, so many different interpretation of what the truth is. I’ve always been in a position where I was the listener, the one who analyse the situation from the third point of view. And all I remember was all the inconsistencies of the truth.

Now I understand why.

A simple answer:

Perspective..

Yes, perspective.

We all see things differently. (duh!) That’s an understatement of the year. Although we may choose our words carefully: the phrase “may have” “could be” “not sure” “help” “similar to” may be vaguely implying uncertainties, the hints may not be received as well. And may be misinterpreted wrongly as such, especially if it is via virtual communication service like SMS and emails.

Why do people text?

People text because they don’t want to be put on the spot. Nobody wants to caught in the other side of the conversation when someone ask them to carpool or to lend them money. Or when someone tells you they always loved you. Nobody likes to put on the spot. They rather read it, think about it then response. Usually with a well conceived lie or excuse.

Or when you text someone that […] and you don’t hear them back, you could pretend that they never got it. Can’t do that over the phone.

quoted from One Tree Hill, Season 8 Episode 17 : The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get

Sometimes we withhold information simply because we decided that we don’t have to disclose every single thing. Or because somewhere in our heart we know the consequence of our actions if things spiral out of control. And the worse case scenario happens: it does. Nothing stays a secret even with hushed whispers and closed door conversations.

And when that does, even if you find yourself not entirely at fault, under those circumstances, apologise. An apology may not do all the trick, and although you now find yourself treading lightly on sore spots and trying to read between the lines, it’s a place to start. Because,

…simply because…

it is a matter of perspective.

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