“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
— Haruki Murakami, Kafka On The Shore
This year is particularly important to me.
Ten years ago, I made myself a promise; that I would love myself; to able to look myself in the mirror and feel an overwhelming tenderness at the person staring right back. Even at that tender age, I knew that I could not fill the void in my chest with someone else’s affections but my own.
Today, I looked in the mirror and I smiled at my reflection. Behind the pimples and cellulites, I see someone who is positive and contented, compassionate and empathetic. Experience is the best teacher, after all. I draw inspirations from people who are humble, diligent and most importantly, align their actions and words with their personal values. I am also thankful for the negative people I met along the way, because they taught me exactly what I do not want to be.
The uphill battle to self-love and self-worth has been riddled with an overwhelming shadow of anxiety and grief. And the person I am today, is a byproduct of the many heartbreaks and invaluable lessons learnt along the way.
In the end, I choose to be happy.
And dare I say, pretty damn awesome.