2019

In the end, she became more than what she expected. she became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end, she just simply changed directions and kept going. – r.m.

This is my last post on this platform.

I have been writing on WordPress for a whole decade, starting from the first day in Manchester back in 2009. I moved from other blogging platforms like Blogspot, Myspace and Friendster, where each platform signifies a season in my life. Over the years, my writing has transitioned from documenting daily and important events to a therapeutic avenue for self-expression and healing.

Like all the previous years, there are a lot of pleasant experiences and connections in 2019 that I will remember and treasure, and there are also the not-so-good news and memories that I can never forget.

Yet this is the year that it hits me.

That the universe will continue to present us with the same problems, the same hurdles in different forms until we learn the lessons we needed in order to grow. In other words, we can’t run away forever. We can’t shut our emotions out and thinking that out-of-sight out-of-mind because… the past has an interesting way of catching up to us.

And everything that happened this year reminded me of just that.

This is the year I laughed the hardest, yet it also is the year I cried the most. I could tell you about the life lessons I learnt and the experiences that I been through and the change in me. I could tell you about the closure I have, or the fears I had to overcame or the duality I have learn to embrace.

Because, we all have this desire to be heard, to be understood, to be loved. Sharing makes us feel more connected. Perhaps in a way, through writing I seek validation subconsciously. To know that my voice matters. That I matter. 

There is so much vulnerability in my writing this year, and it triggers a lot of honest and raw conversations. As I build more meaningful connections offline; as I open myself to more vulnerability, I am not as afraid of being misunderstood or judged. It is okay if not everyone knows the real me. I understand myself and some of you do too, and that is more than enough.

And, that is a very powerful state to be in.

I will continue to write. I may write on a different platform or take my writing completely offline, only time will tell. Thank you WordPress, for the space for growth in this season of life. To the people I crossed path with in this lifetime, virtually or in person, thank you.

The next chapter awaits.

Signing off,

Jill

**Posted on January 12, 2020.  

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